“There will be an answer, let it be”

The Beatles

I don’t know if the Beatles were religious or not, but if there is one thing they took away from the Bible, it’s this: Let it Be. Who would have thought that three simple words could have such a lasting effect on me? This is still a very hard thing for me to practice, don’t get me wrong, as I would consider myself a very anxious person. For as long as I can remember I was always thinking about something in my near (or far) future or stirring over something embarrassing I did last week. My mind felt like it was on a hamster wheel and there was no way of stopping it. Certain things would trigger it more than others. For instance, I have a terrible fear of public speaking, or public anything for that matter, which held me back from a lot of things I wish I could have done over the years. This may sound silly, but I can remember having panic attacks and crying in the night when I had a playing test in band the next morning. I think you get the point. I am a certified worry wart, and during my junior year I had never felt so overwhelmed and out of control of my life. All I could think about every hour of every day was how many AP tests I hadn’t started studying for yet, how many pages of my ACT prep book I still had to read before the next test date, where I would go to college, IF I would even get in, if I would get enough scholarship money, and when to start applying. There was nothing I could physically do to change the outcome of any of those things in one hour, and that drove me crazy. This is when I learned the most life saving phrase in the book: Let it be.

Okay so what do I mean by “let it be?” This phrase can be interpreted in many ways, but don’t be fooled by the apathetic approach. Letting things just “be” does not mean to become tolerant to less than considerate behavior from people. This is not by any means how this should be applied. What I mean by this is to let everyone and everything and every moment just be what it is instead of what it should be. We spend so much time developing expectations for people and things that we are bound to be disappointed by them. If you just let everything be, you eliminate all opportunity for disappointment. If you don’t expect a positive outcome, it is hard to have a negative one because the outcome is just the outcome and there was no particular direction it was supposed to go.

One of the toughest places I have had to apply this lesson is with people. I love my friends, and if I could give each of them the world, I would. Unfortunately, sometimes I attach myself to people a little too much, and when you are attached to something it can be pretty hard to let it go (as you can imagine). One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was let people in my life go. Whether the choice was mine, theirs, or an outside reason, it hurt the same to me. Practicing these three little words doesn’t necessarily make it hurt less when people leave your life, but it does help you to understand that pain is temporary and has a purpose. One thing that an anxious, worry-type personality might do in a situation where people are coming and going through their life is to blame themselves in every situation. This makes you think that you are always doing something wrong, like you’re a burden to others; but like Robin Williams says in Goodwill Hunting, it’s not your fault. That’s just the way life goes. If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it. You are allowed to feel hurt, and you are allowed to feel grief. You shouldn’t have to justify your feelings and no one can tell you how you are supposed to feel. A loss is a loss, but there is always a purpose to the pain. Hell, I wouldn’t be here writing this right now if I hadn’t felt that pain.

So that’s my first piece of advice for you. It’s probably the simplest yet most effective advice you may ever receive, and I promise you will not only see a change in your life, but you will feel it. Your mind will feel clearer, your heart will feel happier, and your whole being will feel lighter. Looking at the religious aspect of it all, God never let’s anything happen in your life that wasn’t supposed to happen. He places everyone in your life for reason, even if it’s just to take them away. He knows what He is doing, and if you can learn to trust Him and truly let go and let God, you can master the art of letting it be. So, as the boys say, relax. Don’t stress over things you can’t control. The only thing you can control is yourself, so just let it be.